Freedom

I didn't sleep all night last night and my neck is so in spasm it's driving me batty but I got up, showered, packed a bag and waited. Waited until he came home with my car and then I left. I said "I'm going for a massage and a chiro then to a friend's, I'll be home by around 5pm so make some dinner" and he said "with what?" oh ya thats right, you don't buy groceries....EVER! I left and went and bought a lock for the storage locker that will be delivered tomorrow and then I went to my councillor's appointment. I was early so I decided to call my realtor to give her the heads up about what was really going on and she had said just two days before that my ex "needed to get his shit together, he was 40 years old" Thank you, for validating my own feelings. So I went to the appointment and sat in the waiting room. Crying. Blowing my nose and having to pee because my adrenaline had been going for days. I was doing some self talk "your doing the right thing, your not happy, he's taken advantage of you for way too long" I saw my councillor and she said " I have thought of you often, every time I drive by Kettle Creak I think of you in your little house with your dog in your yard" So how are you? I said "I'm telling him today" "I need you for support" We talked about what I was missing, why I was breaking up with him as she listed it on a sheet of paper. She said "you need to call now so we can debrief after" So I did and she said she was so "honored to share such a raw experience with me and watch my process" She gave me a huge hug and said that now I will need to watch how he play's me. I have some tools that she has told me to use to keep me strong. I called my mom after and she didn't say much but my friends are SO EXCITED! My one friend said you don't look like a woman who's just broken up with her fiance. I have so much support and good solid friend's. I feel like when you put in the effort in things, good things come of it. Thinking of the future right now is overwhelming so I am just going to take it one day at a time and just try and follow my bliss. Do things that make me happy and that are fun and light.