I'm grouchy. I think I'm PMS'ing. I just came off nights and maybe slept about 3 hours. I started back on the wildrose cleanse. I feel like shit. Been eating like shit and been beating myself up. Unhappiness then guilt then eating bad then more feeling of guilt. Bad cycle. I'm tired. So very tired. Why is life so hard? or am I just making it hard on myself due to my fear of confrontation? Am I just expecting too much out of life? Have I been in a crappy situation for so long I don't think that there is anything better? Am I ungrateful for what I have? Everyone has issues. Am I just a spoilt brat? Do I not see what I have that's before my eye's? I own my place, I have a car, a full time job that pays well. I have my health. I have a guy that will try to do almost anything to make me happy. Almost. Yet I am unhappy. Does it really come down to money? The same values? The same job ethic? Things in common? I am just so tired of beating this dead horse. Should I just accept it? Accept what I have? How come I feel like I'm settling? Does everyone go through this? Is this it? Doesn't every girl want a guy who is madly in love with her. Yes. Who loves her for who she is? yes. But I seem to need or what the "total package" is it as elusive as the sashquatch? Ogopogo? or the Yeti? This really sucks.
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