Can't stop believing!

I feel good today. I feel empowered. It snowed the night before last and so I didn't tell him it was over because I didn't want to move this weather. Excuse? Probably. So he was trying to do the honeymoon phase on Sunday by taking me for coffee and dessert. This also happens when he's grouchy and bitchy at me then feels bad about it. Negative cycle! I knew what he was doing. The whole time I was listening to him talk I noticed how negative he was. He hates everyone. Or he just hates himself and so it's projected towards everyone. So today I went and workout with my trainer today and she, I'm sure is so tired of these emotional ups and downs. She's seen me go through my sad, crying upset phase then my quiet, everything is ok phase. She said something that made me think about things. I said how once a year around this time I get so unhappy and I wonder if its me or him that's the problem. And she said maybe it's that you actually see what's really is. That he's using you, he has a free ride and your unhappy and in a loveless negative relationship. More that he's a con man and plays the mind games on you so you believe or want to believe in him. Since I have let myself look past the breakup to the future I have so much energy. I feel like there are endless possibilities and I feel like I have hope again. I feel like I have control over my life again. I can do anything. I don't want to ever feel like I did this past week. I felt this same way when I talked with a councillor who told me to make a five year plan and then plan how I was going to make it happen. It was exciting!